Dear Melissa,

The last thing I wanted to do was take a dump at your house.  Seriously.  So you can imagine how desperate I was when I got hit with the urge that night we were watching a movie. It was only the third time I’d even been over.  Now try to imagine my fear when the damn toilet stopped up.  Seriously sorry that you don’t keep a plunger in your bathroom, and seriously sorry that I freaking bailed.  You’ll never see me again.

- anonymous

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