Dear Torty the Turtle,

You were the class pet in fourth grade.  I’m really sorry that I took you out of the cage and poured a bunch of salt on you behind the portable.  It was a dare and all the “cool kids” were watching me.  I guess it didn’t make me that cool when I ran off crying.  To this day I regret what I did to you.  I’m sorry that we left you out there, and you dried up and died.  Srsly, Torty, I miss you.  At least I didn’t turn into a serial killer like that other kid in class.

- nathan k

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