The girl you were sleeping with behind my back and I are best friends now. Yes, you gave us both chlamydia. Yes, we snuck over to your house that night and EZ Cheesed obscenities all over your car. Yes, I put honey under all the doorhandles. Yes we drove by your work the next morning to watch you clean it all off in the parking lot. I can’t believe you actually drove to work with “Dick Liar” on your hood in EZ Cheese!! Srsly, I guess I’m sorry.