Dear S,

So sorry I gave your name, address, and phone number to every trade school recruiter I could find. Also, sorry I gave your info to the church of scientology. I hear they can be very persistent. Hopefully you didn’t fall for the whole “stress test” trick. I needed a way to channel my anger towards you after I found that naked picture you sent my bf. I hope you understand. Next time I’ll forward that picture to your father. Until then, SRSLY sorry.

- anonymous

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