Dear Best Friend from lower school,

Srsly sorry, but the first time you invited me to your house, I had an upset stomach, and when I went to use your toilet, you didnt have any toilet roll. So.. I kinda rummaged through your laundry basket and used a sock to wipe. That’s kinda sorta the reason I bailed out of your house so early. Srsly sorry.

- you now ex-best friend

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