Dear Guardian Angel,

I’m not so sure you exist, but if you do, srsly sorry for taking you for granted and doing dangerous stupid sh*t all the time. I mean drunken bungee jumping? Drugs every night? Oh and I almost forgot that time I tried to race the police officer while I was high on pcp. It’s a human thing you wouldn’t understand. Sorry for making you work so hard though.

- Mathew

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