Dear Consumers,

Srsly Sorry Suckers! You srsly buy BOTTLED WATER from us! Hah! We pump out water from your rivers and streams, bottle it up, and sell it back to you. 100% profit baby, we don’t pay sh*t for that water, and by the way, it’s the exact same as tap water.  Oh man, it’s almost sad how much money we make off you.

- Nestle

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