Dear little kids who live next door to me,

Srsly sorry, but I think the guy who lives on the other side of you is a pedophile. Srsly, he is the creepiest middle-aged dude I’ve ever seen. He’s never had one visitor, he wears a coon-skin hat in the middle of summer, and I’ve see him looking over your way before. Just saying, little kids, watch your little behinds!

- concerned neighbor

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