- the drunk girl driving home
Dear Police Man,
Thanks for not arresting me the other night. Truth is, I really was pretty darn drunk, but a mouthful of trident and some eyedrops fooled you somehow. I don’t want to be self-demeaning, but I’m not even that attractive, as far as hot girls go, so I don’t know how I got off the hook so easily. It won’t happen again (eh…maybe). Srsly sorry.