Dear owner of a black subaru in colorado springs,
Sorry about the major dents and scratches in your car door last weekend. I was a little drunk, and a little confused, when I thought that your black subaru was my black subaru. When my key didn’t work I started ramming the door and trying to force the key. Yeah, I’m a drunk asshole, my car was one block further down the road. While I’m here, sorry about the drunk driving.