Dear owner of a black subaru in colorado springs,

Sorry about the major dents and scratches in your car door last weekend.  I was a little drunk, and a little confused, when I thought that your black subaru was my black subaru.  When my key didn’t work I started ramming the door and trying to force the key.  Yeah, I’m a drunk asshole, my car was one block further down the road.  While I’m here, sorry about the drunk driving.

- G.H.

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