Dear Strawberry Vodka Shot,

You had some chunks of fruit inside of you, and it made me nervous.  Also, you had a strong smell, but I agreed to do you anyway while holding my nose.  As you swashed down my throat, I gagged a little but wanted to admit it to neither you nor myself.  Soon thereafter the forced digestive invasion, though, you were regurgitated all over my friend’s shirt and shoes. I’m srsly sorry that you taste so nasty and that probably no one loves you, even your parents.

- unwilling host

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