Dear Mr.Williams,

Srsly sorry that me and my girlfriend defiled your hot-tub, which sits on your very open balcony, and alarmed your neighbors. Honestly, I blame Jarrod (your son) for leaving the two of us alone up there.  We could have been inconspicuous about it, but she was in the mood to be a little crazy, so we stood up and were getting it on in plain view of the world. We didn’t think anyone was looking, but apparently your old neighbors were, and apparently they were so offended that they called you and claimed they saw Jarrod in the act!  Haha, so I guess I’m sorry to Jarrod for the sh*tstorm he had to endure when you got home.

- K.L.

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