Dear Ainsley,

I seriously was digging on you the moment I met you a week and a half ago, and I was super pumped when you invited me and my buddies to your Cinco de Mayo party.  I sought you out at the party, and we were chatting and drinking beers. It was going really well from my POV. The conversation was naturally flowing and we were playfully arguing over some random thing so I pulled out my phone to look it up and prove you wrong.  We were both looking intently at the iPhone screen as I opened Safari, and the first thing that popped up was a big picture of some porno girl getting railed.  Dammit, dammit, dammit. I was obviously looking at porno pics on my phone the last time I had safari open, and I forgot to X-out the pages. I’ve never been so embarrassed and utterly pissed off at myself.  Srsly sorry that you may have been into me, but now you probably think I’m a creep with an addiction to iPhone porn. Srsly sorry to myself, now that all her friends have probably heard the story, and they were cute too.  Srsly.  Sorry.

- S.D.

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