Dear Doorman at the Lofts,

Srsly sorry you overheard me call you the “marshmallow man” from Ghostbusters.  You are large, and a whitey, but it’s still insensitive as all get up.  I’m a bitch sometimes, but I’m gonna bring you some cookies, or a fruit basket, or something to make it up to you.

- tenant in 1302

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