Dear Girlfriend,

You know how your puppy is afraid of men?  Well, she’s not actually afraid of all men, she’s just afraid of me… I kinda sorta accidentally kicked her really hard in the face.  I took her to the park and was playing around trying to kick a ball and I missed and literally got her square in the face with a full force leg kick.  Ever since she has been deathly afraid of me.So, I am srsly sorry I punted your puppy in the face.

- your boyfriend

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