Dear residents of brown house on Mahogany Street, Albuquerque NM,
Sorry about the unintentional arson attack. We were 13 and dumb, but at the time, I was a God among my friends for lighting that giant bag of poo on fire. Anyways, I lit the bag, and in haste set it way too close to your door, and well, you know the rest. Sorry for scaring you half to death, ruining your front door, and fleeing the scene. Glad you were smart enough to put the fire out before the whole house went up in flames. Thanks Billy Madison for the great idea!