Remember that night a few years ago when we went outside and I stripped you in front of your boyfriend and my boyfriend. I was really drunk and thought it was hilarious, you were terrified. Sorry.
- jerry c
Freshman dude at K-Sig party,
Sorry for tricking you into taking a shot of my dip spit. It was hilarious, but admittedly messed up. It does look a lot like Yager.
Don’t be pissed at me because your dog cannot hold his liquor! All I gave him was four whiskey soaked slices of bread, and he proceeds to puke all over your room. Really, really weak stuff man. Sorry your dog is a lightweight. He’s three years old! That’s 21 in dog years.
- justin v
Sorry I stole the keg from our own party. I had the after-party in mind, but I was wasted, and it was only 10 o’clock. I passed out, and woke up on my front lawn at 4 in the morning spooning the keg, and wishing it were a girl. Story of my life.
The girls of Tri-Delta,
Sorry you found me passed out naked in your chapter room. Really sorry that it was ‘parents weekend’ and you were giving the big tour.
Dear college roommate,
Sorry my ringtone was the polyphonic version on Fallout Boy’s “Sugar We’re Going Down” for an entire year. That must have f*cking sucked.
When we hooked up at the end of last semester, that was more of a “goodbye” sex sort of thing, not a “you should terminate your transfer from UVA, re-enroll and be with me” sort of thing. Sorry, but I really wish you hadn’t re-enrolled.
- your friend chad
You hug me too much and for too long. It’s uncomfortable. Lets just keep it to handshakes dude.
Dear St. Ed’s boys,
The only trendy boy at this school is the unicycle kid. That kid rocks. Sorry to burst your bubble skateboard boy.
- the Giant Ladybug
Dear residents of small house in the country outside of Lewisville – Halloween 2005,
If you happened to look outside around 2 am, I am sorry for what you saw. A giant ladybug having drunk sex with a sexy Gumby on your front lawn is no site for honest church going folks that I imagine you are. Happy Halloween. Srsly sorry.
Sorry I filled your beer bong with KD whiskey and four loco without you knowing it. I’ve never seen anyone projectile vomit that far, you ought to be proud.
- James B
Sorry for whatever I said when I was blacked out last night. You seem pissed.