I woke up spooning your dog, on your back porch…. Sorry to your dog?
Dear Resident of 10th street,
I stole your Shinerbock Cooler. Sorry… that cooler is too fucking awesome for me not to own.
- Chris L
I got really drunk and hardboiled your last four eggs and then ate the aforementioned eggs while I watched your premium cable. When I woke up on your couch, there were two broken dinner plates on the floor. I threw the shards away and denied any and all egg eating/plate breaking. Sorry I am a drunken bastard.