Miss Piggy,

Lets be honest, you’re a pudgy face, and I’m a star.  If there’s one rule I stick to, it’s NO FATTIES.  It will never happen, srry.

- KERMIT the FROG

Dear Walt,

We slipped in a bunch of penises and boners throughout the films like you asked.  Sorry we couldn’t fit more, we just thought some of your suggestions were way too obvious.

- DISNEY ANIMATORS

Dear Jon Stewart,

Sorry about our little mix up.  Let’s grab a knish and put this behind us.  Oh, you forgot your wallet… ahem.  jew.  ahem… no, no, I didn’t say that, I said “phew!”  We’ll just put it on the CNN account, they own all the knish bakeries in NYC anyways… Right?

- Rick Sanchez

Harry,

Sorry I fucked with you these last seven years.  Broke your nose.  Tried to Avada Kedavra you.  This list seems endless.  I had a lot of teen angst.  Hope you understand!  :) Sincerely yours.

- Draco