- to infinity and beyond...
Seriously sorry that you died… we all miss you.
- Osama Bin Laden
Now that I’m dead, I just wanted to get this apology out there. I am srsly sorry that I gave you all a bad name with my extremest views and teachings. So, yah, I preyed on the impoverished and feeble minded to build an army of religious fanatics who would die at my command, all following the radical version of jihad I created from which I had no formal education in whatsoever. Yeah, my bad. Now none of you can go outside, or wear traditional garb, or especially ride in an airplane, in the western world without receiving uneasy stares and general suspicions from everyone near you. I guess part of me never thought anyone would actually listen to what I had to say, after all, it was pretty crazy.
- John Candy
Living without me must be hard. Sorry.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Srsly sorry but, when I said I would give you 40 virgins when you died, I didn’t mention why they were virgins. If you are wondering why you are now surrounded by 40 fat, ugly, and nagging virgins in the afterlife, it’s because you are in Hell, you mass murdering asshole.
- President Obama
Dear American People,
Sorry it took me so long to get you my birth certificate, I was a little busy, oh ya know, killing Osama Bin Laden.
- proud americans
Dear Al Queada,
That is all.
- The Tsunami
Srsly sorry about the destruction and the cancer.
- Doug Funny
Sorry that we’re all inadvertent racists, and instead of just making you the black kid, we made you blue instead.
Dear Adam and Eve,
Sorry that I created that whole garden situation, just so you guys could mess it all up. I mean, I am omniscient , so I knew you’d screw it up, because I know everything. Sorry to play with your heads like that, but hey, Adam, at least you got to see Eve naked.
- John Wilkes Booth
Sorry I never gave you my autograph.
- The Asteroid
- the Founding Fathers
Dear King George III,
Sorry I didn’t tell you about my terrible yeast infection. It’s just that we don’t get to wash up that often in these times. You didn’t seem to mind, but srsly sorry anyways.
- The Army Corps of Engineers
Dear New Orleans,
So… sorry that our crappy levees made your city flood after a CAT 5 storm. Oh wait, it was a Cat 3?… Oh… But come on, there was only so much we could do with paper-mache and popsicle sticks. Srsly, though, sorry.