- your fiance
Srsly sorry that every time we shower together I pee when your eyes are closed, while you are washing your hair. Can’t wait for the wedding!
- Greg G
We were best friends as kids, so we had a ton of sleep-overs, and I think it’s time I fess up to what happened one of those nights. Usual boys sleepover consisted of watching a movie then maybe prank calling a girl or two, which we did. Well, we drank a ton of soda and then went to bed. I must have woken up in a weird sleep stupor, having to pee really bad, and I went into the bathroom and started peeing. Somehow I forgot to lift the lid and I pissed all over the place, the wall, the floor, everywhere. Guess what happens next, there was no TP or paper towels or anything, and being a kid, half-asleep in someone elses house, I didn’t even think to venture to the kitchen to find some. So, I grabbed the nearest thing which was your bath towel, and cleaned up all the piss, then put the towel back on the rack. I think I thought no one would notice. Anyways, I left early the next day, and never mentioned it. I don’t know what the aftermath was, but I hope you didn’t accidentally use that towel.
- Kevin G. and co.
Dear Brandon Mauldin,
Srsly sorry about that time in the 6th grade that we all peed a little in a sunkist, then gave it to you and watched you drink it, laughing the whole time. You kept asking what we were laughing about, then you noticed that your soft-drink was a bit off. At that point we were rolling on the ground laughing. You got so upset you started crying. Srsly sorry, kids can be such dicks sometimes.
I took a piss in your gas tank in highschool. I honestly don’t know if that messed your truck up or not, but you were a serious prick and deserved it. Still, srsly sorry.
About that time I peed on you when we were kids. I had climbed way up in a tree, I had to pee, and you walked underneath at the wrong time. I wondered if I could hit you from that far up. Turns out that I could. Sorry about that.
- not so tanned
Dear Body Minut’ Tanning Boutique ,
I knew I had to pee sooo badly but entered anyway. Please understand I really wanted to try the tanning bed. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for the toilets. I’m sorry I peed in the tanning bed. I’m sorry I fled the crime scene after failing to clean it. And I’m sorry my tan was splotchy and terrible. However, don’t worry, I’ll never come back.
- I.P. Freely
Dear Damp Undies,
Yeah, I peed on the seat when I was in a rush. I assumed your Mom taught you to wipe the seat before you sat. Muh bad…
Remember that night we hooked up sophomore year? Remember waking up in the morning in a wet yellow puddle on my bed, and me blaming it on you? You ran out crying, super embarrassed, and I haven’t seen you since. Well, what really happened was that I pissed the bed, and I woke up before you, switched positions with you, then blamed it all on you. Sorry, but I got a kick out of that.