First of all, I guess I’m sorry for not remembering your name even though we had sex last night. Second of all, sorry it was cut short, but I was NOT in the mood for anything after you threw up in the sink after having a glass of water. I shouldn’t really have been there anyway, so, last but not leat, sorry to me for getting to drunk to stop myself from having bad revenge sex. I guess it was an interesting and learn -worthy experience, but I do hope it never happenes, ever, again.
- your pal Evan
Last semester one morning I woke up in your tub, there was throw up on the ground near the toilet. I assume it was mine. I was way too hungover and sore from sleeping in a tub to clean it, so I just got up and stumbled home. Srsly sorry.
- the girls
Srsly sorry, but you are no longer invited to girls’ night out. Why? Because you threw up in the lap of one of the cute guys that we were sitting with. Not so classy…
Dear NYC Cab driver back in August,
I was wasted, and I pulled a silent throw-up in your backseat. I got out, paid, and you drove off without even realizing it. Srsly sorry.
Srsly sorry I vomited all over you and the policeman at that high school party. But I was super super sh/tfaced. And the fact that you called the cops on me upset my tummy at the time. Srsly sorry you sucked as parents.
I am srsly sorry that I threw up on you the second time we had sex. I was reeeeeaaaaaly drunk. Side note – I hear some guys are into that.
- she knows
Dear Jenny, sophomore year,
Sorry I threw up in my drunk sleep, all over the back of your head. On the bright side, at least it wasn’t chunky.
Jennifer & Raiza,
It was me who threw up in your toilet without lifting the lid. Sorry if you accidentally sat on some of my chunks. Srsly. Sorry.
Sorry I threw up in your mouth while we were making out last night. I could never get that nerve problem under control :\
Don’t be pissed at me because your dog cannot hold his liquor! All I gave him was four whiskey soaked slices of bread, and he proceeds to puke all over your room. Really, really weak stuff man. Sorry your dog is a lightweight. He’s three years old! That’s 21 in dog years.
Sorry I filled your beer bong with KD whiskey and four loco without you knowing it. I’ve never seen anyone projectile vomit that far, you ought to be proud.
- Cody R
Dear random European bar owner and random hot chick in said bar, eurotrip 2009,
I am seriously sorry that I decided to puke fat chunks into your urinal at 2am. That must have been difficult to clean out. Also, to random blonde chick, I am sorry that I returned to making out with you directly afterwards.