Dave,

Thanks for the expensive dinner last night.  Unfortunately, expensive dinners only buy BJ’s for attractive guys.  Srry :(

- Mary Anne

I’m sorry you went to graphic design school.

- Anonymous

Dear teary eyed Native Americans,

Sorry we stole your land and destroyed your culture.  But hey, at least we gave you some team names!  Go Chiefs!

- AMERICA

John,

I got really drunk and hardboiled your last four eggs and then ate the aforementioned eggs while I watched your premium cable.  When I woke up on your couch, there were two broken dinner plates on the floor.  I threw the shards away and denied any and all egg eating/plate breaking.  Sorry I am a drunken bastard.

- Chris L

Mr. Collins,

You were my eighth grade Spanish teacher.  I told everyone that you were gay.  I still think you are gay.  But yeah, sorry I told everyone.

- Thomas

Mrs. Rossham from 7th grade history,

diligent boners – that’s all I got from you and your world history class.  srsly not that sorry.

- Bernardo Velasquez

Owner of a newly shitty car,

I hit your ride in the parking garage.  Banged the fuck out of two quarter panels.  Scratched to hell and back.  I backed out of the spot and parked somewhere else.  No note.  No contact information.  Just straight dicked.  Sorry I ruined your week.

- Anonymous

Dear homeless man in Albuquerque NM, circa 2003,

I’m sorry me and friends drove up that one night and pelted you with eggs.  We were assholes to the max.

- Shaun

This is the first post ever for SRSLY SORRY!

- srsly sorry