Dear Japan,

Srsly sorry about the destruction and the cancer.

- The Tsunami

Dear Sarah,

Thanks for letting me borrow your car when you went on your trip to Spain. I am really sorry that I got really drunk, and really high, and still decided to drive myself home, in YOUR car. I hopped the curb doing 35, but it was late, no cops were around, and I just drove it to your driveway and parked.  You got back, I never mentioned it.  Sorry.

- Adam

Dear Fiancee,

I cheated on you in Las Vegas a few months ago.  She was this super cute girl who was probably rolling, and I was rolling too and it was just a terrible mistake and I feel really bad about it.  Worst part is, I think I have some kind of STD because I have the itch and weird marks.  If you were wondering why I have been resisting sex or only doing it in the dark, that’s the reason.  So, now that I’ve fessed up anonymously on here, how do I tell you?

- anonymous

Dear Adam,

Srsly sorry that I gave you a the clap… you were the only one.

- anonygirl

Dear Kids in America,

Cutting the education budget was the best plan of action to relieve the national debt, seriously, hear me out.  Everyone knows that all the coolest people in America dropped out of highschool or college and became extremely successful.  Seth Rogen and Bill Gates did it, and so can you. Basically, we’re here to say you are welcome.  School is not that cool, and education is overrated.  The only thing we are really sorry about was cutting your school’s yearbook budget.  Yearbooks are sweet, sorry you won’t get those anymore.

- Congress

Dear Past Girlfriends or Hook-ups,

I would never admit to this if ever confronted, but for the fun of it, I thought you should know… I love that you actually sent me sexy naked pictures when I asked you for them. But once I am finished with you, I put the naked pics online, and have even sold some to porn websites for like 50 bucks.  Srsly sorry.

- anonymous



Dear Old Homeless Man, who lives in the creek behind our house,

Srsly sorry that me and my friends stole your cart full of sh*t that one summer. We didn’t need your cans and blankets, we were just a-holes.

- Nick K